let's talk, talk about the power awareness
the power
of being self aware
let’s talk, talk about the power of awareness.
the power to have a clear perception of
who you are
your personality
what your thoughts are
your strengths and weaknesses
what motivates you
your emotions
what your beliefs are
your attitude
how people perceive you
your negative self talk
how you understand others
your values
what you are working on
i never truly recognized the power of just being aware.
being aware of
how you are feeling in your body
speaking your thoughts out loud
recognizing what sensations you feel and where
admitting the negative self talk.
being aware has
helped me identify that anxiousness & excitement feels eerily similar in my body
made me realize i always logically know how i should feel but don’t actually know how i feel
given me permission to be okay with whatever i am struggling with
allowed me space to breathe and know that some things will take time to heal
just being aware, speaking my thoughts, and admitting my struggles has made
life just a little easier.
———
fourth counselling session in and we focused on my confidence.
my confidence in driving.
over the last few weeks, i had noticed my anxiety shifted from situations of pedestrian and car to me driving with another living being in the car with me and in some cases being in the passenger seat.
our EMDR session focused on rewriting all the negative thoughts i had about my own driving abilities to something positive.
“i am going to hurt someone., i am going to cause an accident, my car is going to malfunction.”
to
“i am a confidence driver.”
it’s been only three days and just being aware of my own negative self talk has allowed me to feel more confidence on the road.
i’ve been driving since i was sixteen, and got my first and only car (marshmallow) before i even had my N. i would take marshmallow out for joy rides with just my learners against my parent’s wishes and knowledge. even when my dad would pull up next to me and catch me on my joy ride, i was never afraid.
i was always confidence. i trusted and believed in myself.
where did that girl go? and why did she disappear?
i might never know why things shifted but i do know how powerful being aware can be.
and not only being aware but speaking up and asking for support.
between matt and i, i am usually the one driving day to day.
and since dating matt, he has hands down made me a way better driver by being vocal about some of my not so good habits.
it’s not easy to tell someone that their good intentions to help make you better might not be as helpful as they intended them to be
but
i had to find the courage and ask him for his support,
along with asking him to make an effort in helping me find my confidence again.
the kind of confidence that will spill over to other areas of my life.
just like the negative self talk that tends to sneak its way into the thoughts you never imagined them to end up.